An Essay I wrote for college, explaining how I hope to Change the World

The End--- perhaps two of the most heart-wrenching yet beautiful words I've see in my entire life. After working the better part of two years, my 65,000 word novel, Diminuendo, was complete. Truthfully it was a bittersweet moment. However, a lot of history had to happen before that moment could be achieved.

Being read a bedtime story every night, even before I could understand them, I developed an early love of books that soon fostered into a love of writing. Though I practiced my skill fervently, I must admit I wasn't the most talented of writers--- but I was the most determined. I loved to tell stories and, even at eight years old, a short story could never satisfy what I had in mind. As a young child and adolescent, I started and forgot countless novels. I wrote poems and fanfiction as well--- whatever I thought of, I wrote it down. For awhile, that was enough. And, all the while, my reading never ceased. In fact, the first time in my life where I ever truly sobbed (falling on the floor and crying so hard for so long that you can't see), was when my favorite character from Harry Potter died. Literature is so real to me--- fiction exists as more than just fiction. I can feel physical emotions through stories--- laugh, cry, fear, love--- and I invested most of my free time living in another world. Finally, as I entered High School, my novel dreams were within my grasp.

It was my during freshman year that I was introduced to the craziness of National Novel Writing Month, and the first time I wrote 50,000 words in thirty days. It was invigorating--- though not my best work. Still, it opened the door and gave me the ability and confidence to write a whole work of fiction. Come the next year, I was ready to do it again. However, that time, I went down in flames with only 13,000 words. Little did I know then, as I secluded into a stint of pure reading, that those were the first 13,000 words of my first novel. For two years, the frenzied start included, I breathed that novel. Even when I wasn't writing it, I was thinking about it. It was my story, my characters, and I loved it.

During the writing of my novel, I took my most exciting English class--- AP Language and Composition. It was here that I began to love classic novels, and appreciate them for their deeper meanings. However, through discussions with others, I hit a dilemma. Did my story say anything significant? Sure, metaphors and themes come from great writers without trying, but something as intricately profound as The Metamorphosis wasn't going to come without effort. So, where did my story fit in? What was its purpose? My purpose? The answer, though confusing, did come to me, and it is one of my solid truths--- my vision. My voice. I write fiction because I have to. Because stories are more important to me than oxygen. I love the emotions I get out of a good book. I am thrilled when words can come together and make me laugh and cry. I want to write stories that create emotions in others. I desire to create for the sake of my creation being loved. I write, because I love to read. Most importantly, I write because if I don't my character's stories will die with me. And no one will ever know of their lives, their loves and their losses. And I owe them to let them live beyond my physical body and into time. Through the writing and loving of my first novel, my child, I recognized this truth within myself.

My vision and voice for this world is a simple one. I wish with all of my heart to use my love and talent with words to tell stories. I hope to create worlds that people can visit, desire and love. I want to change the world not by dramatic statements and controversy, but by offering a few words--- my biggest and sincerest comfort.